I was waist deep in the Gulf of Mexico, fishing for redfish when the initial gnawing pain hit me in the stomach. To be much more accurate it was my lower abdomen. Like all dedicated fishermen, I ignored the pain and kept directly on throwing my silver spoon involving the oyster beds off St. George Island off Florida’s Gulf Coast.
I’d had a small burning sensation within my lower abdomen for a couple of days, but this time it got my attention, but not enough to quit fishing. Later that afternoon, after a shower, I curled through to the couch with some iced tea and considered my predicament. I had a concept of the problem because I thought I’d had the same about 4 years earlier. It turned out to be diverticulitus, an inflammation of the large intestine. I also thought I knew what had caused my body to rebel this time; just like the last. Beef Jerky!
I love the stuff! I make some of the finest jerky on the planet and I’m stingy with it. I’ll share anything except jerky made out of my very own two hands! During the last couple of days I had probably eaten two pounds of the dried meat and now I was paying the price γαστρεντερολογος κοζανη. Probably my intestine had become infected by bits of meat that had not been thoroughly eradicated from my system. I took some Advil and proceeded about my business of getting wonderful time fishing!
The in a few days my doctor poked and muttered to himself and asked me just how much beef jerky I had eaten this time, then scheduled me for a colonoscopy. His explanation as to the reasons he was doing this was because I had never had one and he got a cut of the surgeon’s fee. That has been the very best explanation I had heard, so I said you will want to? He also gave me some antibiotics which eventually eliminated the pain.
About one in four men over this 50 gets colon cancer. Those are high enough odds to produce such a test as this necessary and my friends all said it was a piece of cake. They didn’t tell me that the preparation part of the test was worse compared to the exam itself. It was horrible!
The morning before the specific test, just forget about ham and eggs for breakfast. Juice or beef or chicken broth, may be the menu for the day. Apple juice was the recommended juice! You know what an abundance of apple juice is going to do for you? That’s right! Diarrhea! There’s only so much apple juice you are able to drink when you burst, so I alternated between iced tea and apple juice all day long with a healthy spoonful of beef bouillon dissolved in a cup of boiling water. Delicious because it sounds, I wished I really could have had a steak!
At 4:00 that afternoon, following a day of consuming liquids and likely to the bathroom an astonishing number of times, the serious stuff began. I took 4 pills and waited two hours before drinking a mixture concocted by the devil himself. It tasted awful and I still have no idea what those 4 pills were for!
This part of the test was supposed to look after what the apple juice and other liquids missed. I was furnished a package containing a quart jug with a suspicious-looking powder in the bottom. There were 5 packets of flavoring in the kit and I really could select from Lemon-Lime, Mountain Berry, Cola, Pineapple and Pina’Colada! I chose Pineapple. Bad Choice! One of these simple mixed with the powder and then dissolved in a quart of water was supposed to help make the brew taste better. It didn’t! I had to drink at the least a half gallon of the liquid over an hour’s time. The past half gallon in the jug was to be used if I threw up the initial 50% of the bottle. The outcome weren’t pretty nonetheless it served its purpose!
Another morning, stomach empty, I was wheeled into a small room with monitors chirping, nurses fiddling with IV tubes and a smiling doctor asking me if I’d had this done before. Unlikely, or I wouldn’t be here this time, I told him. He just laughed and said that the worst was over. It was! Those were last words I heard before I was awakened from the very best sleep I had had in years. Aside from the sting of the IV needle, I knew nothing of the test.
Thankfully, the test was negative in every aspects and I declare that all men have the exam. It’s not at all just like the tests of previous years and it’s essential if you wish to catch cancer of the colon in its early stages. I’ll do it next season, but next time I’ll choose Mountain Berry mix.